My dearest Atiku, You still address yourself as His Excellency, which is palpably laughable. I will keep that aside and focus on what I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while. I don’t know you personally, so I don’t hate you. I remember you were Vice President when I was still a child. Since then, you have tried to become President. Yours dreams haven’t come true and I am very, very certain they will never come true. If you become President, I will go into exile; I will travel far away to Panama and live there until you finish deceiving Nigerians.
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